Duets and Travel Partnerships: Sisters and Siblings in Senior Adulthood

“A sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost.” Marion C. Garretty’s words capture the essence of our oldest relationships. Siblings are our first friends, sharing space as we learn to navigate the world. Even when those relationships are competitive—especially with sisters—they can strengthen over time into sources of connection, comfort, and support.

Research is solid regarding the unique impact of sibling relationships on older adults. The National Institute of Health determined that sibling warmth can lower loneliness, depression, and anxiety, particularly in later years; on the flip side, tension in sibling relationships can cause depression (March 2021). Psychology Today noted that the current older generation has fewer children and more singles, which intensifies sibling connections; they report that senior sisters have the closest connections (September 2024).

Siblings support each other’s emotional well-being throughout their lives. Traveling together or meeting on vacation forges connections by creating new experiences and memories. For those in close proximity, celebrating birthdays or gathering for family reunions gets stories flowing; meeting for lunch regularly provides consistent relatedness. In the event of poor health or loss, siblings can also be a source of emergency assistance, shared caregiving, and grief support.

At Sunnyside Retirement Community, we wanted to learn more about siblings who share their retirement years in the same neighborhood. How does common ground at this age increase their bonds? Luckily, we have some sisters on campus who agreed to be interviewed.

Dotty Anderson and Becky Russell were raised in Staunton; an eight-year age difference meant they weren’t close when they were young. Their marriages to Navy men carried them to various places, which made it harder to be together. However, Navy transient lifestyles also make it challenging to develop close friendships, which in turn strengthened their sister bond.

They were introduced to Sunnyside Communities when their mother lived at Summit Square, our sister community in Waynesboro. Both Dotty and Becky studied music and played piano; they began playing duets for the residents at Summit Square, side by side in coordinating vests, and packed the house! In their opinion, duets are best played by two people with similar ability, who are willing to share notes and know how each part fits with the other. During our interview, these ladies bubbled with stories in a kind of musical counterpoint, their independent voices layering in lovely harmony. Duet-playing unites them in service and joy; they know their parents would be thrilled to listen to them play, living where they can see each other’s houses from their windows and drop off a Martin’s BOGO at the door. This year, Dotty and Becky are co-directing the Sunnyside Singers Christmas program.

These sisters never expected to “come home” to Sunnyside, which brings them peace of mind every day. Their bond is perfectly symbolized by the mums planted by Buildings & Grounds in Becky’s front flower bed; Becky hoped they would survive there, and now the two maroon and orange plants have merged into one uniquely gorgeous display. Now, they just need their remaining sister in Staunton to join the waitlist!

Sunnyside sisters also include Pat Harkins and Barbara Mancini. Their parents lived here first, then Pat came in 2002, and finally Barbara moved in 2018. Sisterhood meant sharing care of their parents over the years—Barbara as the main go-to while Pat lived overseas as a Marine wife, and later, Pat here on campus with them.

These sisters are four years apart, and Pat described Barbara as “Daddy’s girl” who talked him into all kinds of pets: dogs, hamsters, guinea pigs, and, unrelated, a sports car! Like many sisters, their bond strengthened when Pat left for college. It grew as they became frequent travel partners (with Pat’s husband, Tom, as their master tour planner); they’ve snorkeled in the Red Sea in Saudi Arabia, gone on safari in Kenya, cruised the Caribbean and Greece, experienced Frankfurt for the Christmas markets, and most recently ventured “Into the Midnight Sun” through the Arctic Circle, Norway, Scotland, and London. Through it all, Pat and Barbara agree, “It helps to know who you are cruising with.”

They call their current relationship symbiotic and have maintained their own interests even while becoming best friends. Barbara said she finishes some of Pat’s sentences. Barbara takes a while to think, while Pat is faster to act—but they are unequivocally there for each other. When Barbara said, “Sisterhood means having an unbreakable bond,” Pat replied, “Oh, that’s nice, Barbara.”

Isn’t that the bottom line for all of our closest relationships? In our later stages of life, it means the world to walk side by side with someone who has known us from the start. Siblings can be actual lifelines. To paraphrase Pat Harkins, no matter where we live, in whatever mishmash of people and their own incredible experiences, a sibling is someone who shared the way you were raised and knows your story. That is worth holding on to.